March 19 edition

Tea Party a Success

Alicia, Fatima, and Lena were the hostesses at this month's social event.  Several tables were spread with cut sandwiches, a breakfast casserole, scones, fruit, muffins, jellies, and various teas.  With so much from which to choose, one lady may have said, "I am overwhelmed." 

A little over half of the ladies in the group attended, the conversation was pleasant, and the food scrumptious.  "I can't imagine a more relaxing way to spend the morning," another person could have commented.  Code names such as Daisy, Lemon Drop, She Who Must Not Be Named, and others were discussed while the ladies enjoyed the cuisine.  Eventually it was time for business.  This reporter was especially impressed with Debbie C., who instructed the ladies about nominating a special person to be kidnapped during the year.  Mrs. C was informative and charming as she explained what to do.  Following that activity, the hostesses introduced the game for the day.  Several people attempted to place two tea bags attached with strings to a baseball cap on top of the cap while wearing said cap without using their hands.  Although there was plenty of head-wagging and slinging, only a few were able to complete the task within the minute allowed.  The winner was Chris M. who showed herself to be a talented head-slinger, followed by Audrey M. and the charming Mrs. C.  Bailey R. was present to the delight of all present even though she recently had a body part removed.

Noticably absent from the gala event was Mrs. Awiggins who is still missing across state lines.  Our reporters continue in position awaiting her return.

We will be posting information from the nominations as soon as our investigative staff has finished their analysis.

Tea Anyone?

Our entertainment division reports that several of the females incognito will be gathering to imbibe warm beverages in the morning hours tomorrow.  It has been hinted that the gathering will include a chance to determine a future kidnapping event, but that rumor has yet to be verified.  We will have a reporter on the scene to keep you, dear reader, updated on this latest event.

Missus Awiggins Flees the State

Missus Awiggins was spotted fleeing not only the city, but the state yesterday after a brief bout with illness.  When our reporter on the scene tried to catch her to question her about her strange behaviour, he was unable to match her speed and finally had to give up; however, he will be waiting at the border to interview her when and if she ever returns.  Could she be running from another mistake?  Inquiring minds want to know!

Who IS That Purple Person?

Our amazing investigative team has uncovered several suspicious activities promulgated by someone calling herself, "Purple."  Not only has she sent Bailey R. some nice postcards, but has managed to send them from both Arizona and Utah.  Who is this perplexing personality?

Reporting from somewhere in the Treasure Valley...

Miss Piggy Strikes Again

It seems Miss Piggy is alive and well and living somewhere in southern Idaho.  Today, in an exclusive interview with D. Crutchfield, our reporter learned a little bit more about this exclusive lady.

"Yes, I was surprised when the kids at church pointed out a gift with my name on it on the table by the door.  It was so thoughtful of Miss Piggy to think of me again."  When asked if she liked her gift, Miss D replied, "Well, I wasn't too sure what I would find at first.  Miss Piggy's note said it was something green and odoriforous for St. Patrick's Day.  But when I opened it I was delighted.  You may notice the scent of green apples hanging in the air around me for a while." 

Ongoing investigation into the identify of Miss Piggy has not yet yielded any conclusive results, but our sources report that there was a hair sample under the tape of the package, and Miss D is scrutinizing it closely.


Clandestine Siblings Incognito to Gather at F. Selami's Abode Soon
Outside sources have confirmed there will be a gathering of the Secret Sisters on the 19th of this month at Miss F.'s house.  We will have investigative reporters hidden at said event to gather any clues possible.  The rumor is that it will be some kind of beverage event.  Our fashion editor will be there to report on the ladies' attire.  More to come soon...

Please send any stories you have to the editor who will consider publishing them. 

Today as one of our reporters was interviewing someone, she was asked if the rules for the club could be posted in this fine periodical.  As always, we are eager to help out in any way we can.  Here are the rules as presented in the organizational meeting.

SECRET SISTER RULES

1.  Keep your name secret.

2.  Contact your secret sister at least once each month.  Contact can be a card or gift or anything else you can think of.  Be sure to sign your secret name on everything you give her.  You must be careful to keep your identity secret when delivering any gifts.

3.  Keep your name secret.

4.  Gifts and cards may not exceed $5.00 in cost.  They may cost less, but they may not cost more.  Birthdays are an exception.  You may spend up to $10.00 for birthdays only.  You do not HAVE to spend that much, but you may.

5.  Each member is encouraged to sign up to help hostess one group activity.  This is not required but encouraged.

6.  Keep your name secret.

7.  Group activities will occur every other month for a total of six activities.  The hostesses of each meeting will determine the activity for that meeting.  Use your imaginations! During these meetings we will share what contacts we have received from our secret sisters so everyone can enjoy them.

8.  Each group will last one year.

9.  The year will end with a revealing party during which you will reveal your secret name to us all.  There will be a contest at this party to see who has managed to keep her name the most secret.  And yes, there will be a prize for the winner.

10.  If you have any problems or questions, contact the secretary who will work to resolve your problems or answer your questions.

11.  Keep your name secret.

Undercover Reporter Reports

Next Meeting News Coming Soon

Our undercover reporter caught several email exchanges being passed between the ladies planning the  next event and reports that things are well under way.  We will let you know the news as we uncover it.  Stay tuned!